I'm Cleaning Out My Closet
Over the last 17 years I have had to honor to serve, meet, experience life with thousands of individuals all over the United States of America. All at various stops on their faith journey, geopolitical ideologies, philosophical principles, and if I am being honest, mental health challenges. We are all a work in progress, some of us progress quicker than others, and some of us find ourselves in a continued quest to cycle from culture, trauma, and hurts.
One of the hardest things for people to do is to clean out their closet. Face, address, war, and talk about hurts, fears, experiences good and bad. It allows us to be vulnerable, although our world continues to tell us not to be. It allows us to search the deepest darkest portions of our very being and attempt to understand, heal, and move forward.
Human beings were not created to walk alone. Literally all the Bible is meant for humans to dwell with others. Don’t give me the line all I need is me and God. God Himself disagrees with you (It is not good for man to be alone. Man wasn’t alone, man had God). The Torah was given to a people, all the Torah is to be walked out, applied to a body living and wrestling together to find the function. It is hard to love your neighbor as yourself if you have no neighbors. It is impossible to have enemies to love if you have no one you surround yourself with.
Human beings struggle to walk together. While it is easier to walk with those who you have a common rally cry with (see 9/11, the current political landscape, and many religious movements) even those commonalities will not sustain you when things get tough, when growth is needed. Even those familial thoughts, ideologies, relationships will be tested and most likely strained at some point. There are many reasons why, it isn’t exclusive to one, although I do liken trauma drama to a huge factor.
I used to think the commercialism and consumerism of the Christian church was primarily relegated to most non-denominational settings. You know the more modern seeker friendly environments. Yet over the last six years I have found even in the strictest of doctrinal religious environments most people, consciously or subconsciously want to be fed and have their needs met. Most also are unwilling to be transparent enough that their needs are repentance, healing, submission, fasting, prayer, and patience. Those are all super sexy! Everyone is running to attend the party that instead of beer, football, and joy we are offering struggles, silence, and pain. Of course, struggles, silence, and pain when used to wrestle with our past and God to heal us, set us free, and then cleanse us from that hurt and empower us with His Spirit, lead to joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control. Those things are not overnight fruit. They come from tilling the soil of your heart, mind, spirit. It’s tough work, but everything worth anything takes tough work. I mean, the greatest gift took the blood, and most horrific execution of an innocent man.
Why am I writing this? I really don’t know. This morning and last night I was fasting, praying, sitting in silence with the Word and the Spirit and my heart was grieved. Grieved that we continue to worry about everything else but our own healing, repentance, and walk with Jesus. Grieved for the many prayer requests of people bound by habits, decisions, and a lack of submission. The instability of those who have one foot in a church community and one in different one. The wounds of self-sabotaging not only of your calling but another’s.
I used to spend 12 hours a day talking, taking phone calls, offering advice or counsel, solving problems. I’m not entirely sure I solved anything other than I talked a lot! I spend that time as much as possible being quiet, silent, listening, asking God to give revelation. The hurt won’t stop and your hurting others won’t stop till you recognize your issues, repent, and allow God to heal you. All of this is a process.
“The church isn’t meeting my needs.”
The church was designed to honor God, make disciples, and help you grow closer to God. It isn’t a country club; it isn’t a place for you to fill your social calendar. It is a place to get work done. Work like honoring God, teaching others, breaking chains, and experience the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. If your needs are different than those the church you are looking for is about you and not God.
“I’m not being fed.”
If you eat once a week you will be starving and die. I’m not being fed is you aren’t teaching me what I want. You aren’t doing what I want. As a Pastor, I can tell you, what you want is almost never what you need. Open your Bibles, allow yourself to be challenged, and become an active participant where you are planted. So that when God calls you can be the one who sows into another. If you don’t bear fruit in your walk, maybe you need more sunlight, water, and root depth. That happens in a community you fully plug into because of God not man.
“I’m not a fan of the style.”
There are so many styles you can find one that is yours! The question I would ask is where in the Bible did the Israelites get to tell God I know you planted me here; I know you put me in this tribe, or even the apostles, I know I learn best this way…… where God said you know what you are right! Let’s adjust the teaching style, worship style, to fit your needs. It never was about what any of us liked, it was about what He commanded.
“It’s entertainment not interaction.”
3% of the people do 90% of the work. Don’t tell me it’s not true I have been in different denominations and worship teams, leadership teams for 29 years. Everyone has opinions, very few are willing to just serve. Let alone raise a hand while worshiping. When you start bringing your all to the back row and worshiping like Jesus is standing there next to you, then complain about something.
There is real work to do! People are hurting, dying, struggling. The Christian church across all denominations are struggling to replicate Jesus through discipleship. The fruit is lacking, and we must realize no plan of man can replace the inspired plan of God. We need to start getting in the trenches with each other, sell out to helping ourselves and our brothers and sisters experience the power and presence of God. Remove the judgmental vail and submit for seasons of healing, developmental growth, and outpouring of the Spirit to enable the Gifts that were given to you.
Life abundantly. Do we really believe it? Are we really willing to go all in to find it? I believe in Jesus. I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe the Word is true. This is why I fight for you; this is why I pray for you, yes even those who leave. This is why I serve. Jesus believed in you enough to willfully give His life. So, if it is good enough for my Savior it is good enough for me. While you are looking for the depth of the Scripture it might be helpful to first bear fruit in the simple things!